Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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