I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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