thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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