You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
