I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
