just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am available for nakedness
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
