On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
