My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My hand turned me down
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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