Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
