I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
