Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
