He disabled his match.com account in front of me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
