So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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