omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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