Someone shit on the floor
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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