Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
