you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
