Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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