The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
