I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
