dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
