On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
