the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
