I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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