She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Randomize
