At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
