Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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