Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
