what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
