fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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