so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
