I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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