my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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