i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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