white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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