How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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