Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
tell me about the eggs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
