I am puke
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
God I need to hump something, right now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
