haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
