it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
