I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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