all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They have beer where we have blood.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
