Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
