How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
