I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
