That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
please come you make the beer taste better
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
