"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
