I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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