I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
