Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
