We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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