Im at strip club and am horny
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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