it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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