tell your sister to shave her snatch
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am available for nakedness
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
