found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
