Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
