I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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